What can i say, I've been afraid this entire time. Every word or thought that comes out of my mind I'm afraid to let out. I fear being judged by people who criticize my ideas and say they're bad. It has built up this great resistance which has caused me a lot of trouble. It blocks my thought processing so I can't think straight and I freeze. It gives me headaches and makes me sad. Sad because I then choose to copy people and have no personality that really is mine, it all is taken from someone else, and at the end of the day I don't know myself, who i am or where I'm going. I forgot easily because my mind isn't listen to me. My subconscious becomes scared and in defending itself it someitmes hurts me. It makes me do things i don't like, embarrasses me infront of public and shows me how weak i am. The michael i want to be needs to have strength to command his entire self.

... to be continued.